The Laser Pointer: Karkat x Reader
by MisstiqueRose
Summary: Based of Teilwal's video: The Laser Pointer. Just something short from having too much time in class. What happens when Dave gets his hands on a laser pointer. T for swearing.


**So this is based of Teilwal's video "The Laser Pointer" on YouTube because I decided this needed to be a thing. **

**Watch it. I own nothing! Least of all this awesome vid! Plot mostly belongs to Teilwal too :3 **

**Trigger Warnings: there's cursing. This is Homestuck. No duh. **

"Hey Rose, before you get drunk for pretty much the whole day, you gotta see what I found out about Karkat. You too [Name], the irony is just killing me – you'll love it." That unmistakably Texan accent crackled like electricity in the air throughout the meteor base, and you looked up from your book on troll psychology into the face of one cool Strider who seemed ironically…excited? Your eyes flicked nervously to Rose, who appeared just as wary as you felt. If this, whatever 'this' may be, was enough to get a _Strider_ showing emotion it had to be something – as your friend *cough* flushcrush *cough* would say – "fucked up". Speaking of which, what did this have to do with the crabby troll? Now that Dave had your attention, he pulled a metallic cylinder from the back pocket of his deep red God Tier pyjamas, holding it out with devilish glee.

"Okay, you remember that laser pointer I found? Well, watch this!" Rose raised a single, sophisticated blonde eyebrow and in a single look that somehow managed to say 'I have no idea what you're up to and to be frank I probably disapprove, but since you're not going to stop anyway I might as well enjoy whatever spectacle you have planned' (you wished you knew how it was she did all that with a single glance) she regarded him. His ironic shades shielded him from Rose's grimdark-death glare, or judging by all his nervous energy he was so excited he completely hadn't noticed. It was almost childish, and a small smile fought its way to your lips. 'I suppose if it makes him so happy, it can't be so bad…' For a split second you were able to see Dave's eyes through his shades, and they shone somewhat maliciously as he yelled out in the direction of the open door back upstairs. 'Though it might be worse than I fear…'

"KAR-KAT!" Light thudding rolled like thunder down the stairs as Dave pointed the red beam of light towards the far wall with a soft 'click'. The thunder grew louder and more urgent as the mutant-blooded troll approached as if to signal whatever chaotic storm Dave was incurring. A focused looking Karkat appeared at the doorway within seconds of the thuds subsiding. Lightly flushed from all the running, his hair was a complete mess and there was a small part of you that wanted nothing more than to go over and fix it for him. You shooed your inner Nepeta away. Now was not the time for such things. Karkat's red eyes seemed distant, and you soon saw the point of their focus. _The little red dot on the wall._

This did not bode well. But, like watching a train wreck, you were unable to pull your eyes away. Karkat's gaze became focused. He leapt onto the table rather ungracefully, and with his feet only barely on he scrambled forward. _So close_, that evasive little dot had been haunting him all day always just out of his grasp. But now, now he would finally be able to capture that sneaky bastard! _One more step!_ The world slowed down as Karkat pounced towards the light. He held out his hand…

And smacked straight into the wall with a resounding 'THUD!' You and Rose winced simultaneously, Rose procuring what looked like a martini from nowhere. "OH MY GOD! HAHAHAHA! HOLY SHIT!" The room rang with Dave's laughter as he hit the table repeatedly (what did it ever do to you Dave?), and from the floor Karkat groaned.  
"FUCKING. ASSHOLE." You made your way over to his side, where you weren't sure if was embarrassment or sheer force of impact that left Karkat's face cherry red. Dave was still in Strider-sterics, and Rose had taken her – now it was a bottle of vodka? – upstairs with her.  
"You alright?" You helped the nubby-horned Cancer up, much to his visual dislike. (Secretly, he was touched you cared, but Strider was still in the room so he couldn't show it).  
"I'm fucking fine. I just wish I could get even with that asshole over there. He's been fucking with me all day now." Said asshole was trying to recover but was for the first time doing an absolutely shit job at it. You papped his shoulder sympathetically, pretending you weren't rather intrigued by this discovery. And here you thought it would be Nepeta who would do such a cat-like thing, but the fearless 'leader'? This was a surprise. You couldn't say you didn't find it completely adorable though. "Nookstain, what in the grubfucking universe would possess him to play with a fucking red ball of death..." The laser pointer rolled out of Dave's hands across the table and towards you whilst Karkat was grumbling to himself. Almost in a flash it was gone and as you left the room Karkat noted the strange shiny object in your hand but paid it no heed. You grinned. This could come in handy later…

~~~~~Extended Ending~~~~~

"Oh man, you should have seen it!" Dave grinned, opening the bottle of his favourite apple beverage whilst speaking to Nepeta. He opened his mouth to take a swig...

And got a face full of...smuppet ass.

It was unanimously voted that Dave's scream that followed was the single least masculine scream in all of paradox space.


End file.
